17. The Season of Giving and the One Thing Leaders Rarely Give Themselves
As the year winds down, most leaders experience the same contradiction. December is quieter on the surface, but heavier underneath. Decisions still need to be signed off. Teams are tired. Audits are concluding. Everyone wants closure, yet very few people feel settled.
In this season, leaders are expected to give more. More patience. More reassurance. More stability. And most do. They show up, stay composed, and carry responsibility with professionalism. What often gets overlooked, however, is the one thing leaders rarely give themselves at this time of year: an honest internal review.
Not a performance review. Not a strategic reset. An honest look at how the year actually unfolded for them.
What Audit Season Reveals Beyond the Numbers
Audit season has a way of surfacing truth, even when the numbers look clean. Controls can be strong, reconciliations accurate, and documentation complete, yet something still feels strained. That strain often has little to do with systems and everything to do with leadership capacity.
I see this repeatedly. Leaders who are thorough, responsive, and transparent in the audit process, yet clearly carrying more pressure than they acknowledge. They can articulate every variance in the financials but struggle to articulate the personal cost of the year. Long hours. Compressed decisions. The quiet expectation to remain unshakeable.
Audit, at its core, is an exercise in honesty. It asks whether what is presented aligns with what is true. When that principle is applied only outwardly and not inwardly, something becomes unbalanced. The organisation gets reviewed. The leader does not.
Why Leaders Avoid Reviewing Themselves
Most leaders do not skip self-review because they are unaware. They often skip it because they believe it is impractical. There is always another meeting. Another report. Another responsibility that feels more urgent.
There is also a subtle belief that turning attention inward is self-indulgent. That reflection is something reserved for quieter roles or later stages of a career. In high-responsibility positions, the assumption is that resilience means absorbing pressure without comment.
The problem is that unexamined pressure rarely stays contained. It influences decision-making in subtle ways. Risk tolerance tightens or swings too far in the opposite direction. Controls become rigid when trust would be more effective. Conversations become shorter, because of fatigue.
None of this shows up directly in audit findings. But it shows up in culture, judgment, and long-term risk.
Audit as a Leadership Posture
When an audit works well, it is principled. It creates space to ask uncomfortable questions before problems escalate. That same posture is what strong leadership requires, especially at year-end.
The most useful question is not often “Did we meet expectations?” It is “What is actually true right now?”
What is true about your energy going into the new year?
What is true about decisions you rushed because you felt stretched?
What is true about the way you manage control, trust, and delegation under pressure?
They are practical inputs into how you will lead next year. Leaders who skip this step often carry unresolved strain into January, where it quietly shapes strategy and behaviour.
The Value of Year-End Stillness
Christmas creates a rare pause. It is because the pace changes. The urgency softens just enough to think more clearly. This is precisely why year-end reflection matters.
Stillness is about rest and accuracy.
When leaders take time to review the year honestly, they often discover patterns that were invisible during the rush. Areas where they overextended without acknowledging the cost. Decisions that were driven more by exhaustion than by risk. Conversations that were avoided because there was no emotional bandwidth left.
Recognising these patterns does not weaken leadership rather this helps to strengthen it. Awareness allows for adjustment. Without it, the same pressures repeat under a different calendar.
A Practical Self-Audit for Leaders
Before the year closes, consider a short, intentional self-audit. This is not a personal critique and it does not require an action plan.
Set aside ten uninterrupted minutes and reflect on three questions:
Where did I consistently push beyond reasonable limits this year, and what did it cost me?
Which decisions or conversations did I avoid because they felt inconvenient or uncomfortable at the time?
What needs to change next year to protect clarity, not just performance?
Answering these questions honestly creates a clearer starting point for the new year. In audit, clarity always comes before correction. Leadership is no different.
Why This Matters Going Forward
Leadership effectiveness is deeply connected to self-awareness. Fatigue affects judgment. Unacknowledged stress influences how risk is perceived and managed. Leaders who understand their internal state make better decisions, communicate more clearly, and create healthier control environments.
This is particularly important in regulated, audited environments where trust, consistency, and judgment matter as much as technical compliance. Numbers tell part of the story. Behavior tells the rest.
The leaders who navigate these environments best are not the ones who never feel pressure, but notice it early and respond thoughtfully.
Closing
The season of giving is often framed around generosity to others. That generosity is important. But leadership also requires responsibility to oneself.
Giving yourself an honest review is more professional. It ensures that when you step into the new year, you do so with clarity rather than carryover.
If this reflection resonates, I would welcome hearing what this year revealed for you. Sometimes the most valuable conversations happen when the numbers are closed, and the truth has room to surface.
That's all for this week.
See you on Tuesday!
– Jonathan M.
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P.S. Leadership often leaves little space to talk about the personal load behind the decisions. If this idea of a year-end self-audit resonates, it may be worth exploring what this year required of you as a leader, not just what it produced. I often find that a thoughtful conversation at this point in the cycle brings clarity that formal planning cannot. Reach out to me - I’ll guide you.
Disclaimer: This newsletter is general information only and is not financial advice. Always do your own research and consult a professional about your circumstances.
