49. What I Stopped Explaining
There’s a sentence I’ve been using less lately.
“Let me explain.”
It used to feel necessary.
If something didn’t land, I’d clarify.
If someone disagreed, I’d expand.
If there was tension, I’d smooth it out with more context.
More words. More reasoning. More effort to be understood.
It felt like good leadership.
But over time, I started noticing the cost.
The more I explained, the less weight my words carried.
Decisions stayed open longer than they should.
Conversations circled instead of moving.
Clarity got diluted in the name of alignment.
And underneath it all was something I had to admit to myself.
I wasn’t always explaining to help others understand.
Sometimes, I was explaining to feel accepted.
That shift is subtle, but it changes everything.
Because when you’re seeking acceptance, you soften edges.
You over-justify.
You leave space for doubt that wasn’t there to begin with.
And people feel that.
Not consciously. But they respond to it.
I started watching leaders who didn’t do this.
They weren’t louder.
They weren’t harsher.
They were just… cleaner.
They said what needed to be said.
They gave context when it added value.
And then they stopped.
No over-explaining. No circling back to convince.
Just clarity.
That’s when it clicked for me.
Explanation is useful.
Over-explanation is often a signal.
Not of complexity. But of hesitation.
So I made a small shift.
Before I explain something, I pause and ask:
“Am I adding clarity… or asking for permission?”
That question has saved me more time than any productivity system.
Because if it’s clarity, I’ll say it once. Maybe twice.
If it’s permission, I stop.
And I let the decision stand.
Here’s what I’ve been practicing.
Say the thing.
Give the necessary context.
Then leave space.
Silence, I’ve found, does more work than extra words ever could.
It gives others room to process.
It signals confidence.
It closes loops instead of reopening them.
And yes, it can feel uncomfortable at first.
You’ll want to jump back in. Fill the gap. Add one more sentence.
Don’t.
That discomfort is often the moment where your words are actually landing.
If you try anything this week, try this.
The next time you feel the urge to explain something again, pause.
Ask yourself:
“Is this making it clearer… or just making me feel safer?”
Then choose restraint.
You might find that your impact increases the moment your words decrease.
And if this is something you’ve noticed in your own leadership, I’d be curious how you’re navigating it.
Where have you stopped explaining?
— Jonathan
P.S. More words can feel like clarity. But often, they dilute it. If you’ve been finding yourself explaining more than you’d like, a simple conversation can help you see where confidence can replace it. Reach out to me - I’ll guide you.
Disclaimer: This newsletter is intended for general informational and reflective purposes only. It does not constitute financial, legal, or professional advice. Please consider your own circumstances and consult an appropriate professional before making decisions.
